


This Goes Up To Eleven

by vehlr



Series: AU: This Goes Up To Eleven [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 13:50:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4307526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vehlr/pseuds/vehlr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone loves the band 'Hawke' - and its lead singer, Varric Tethras. And they finally put Nevarra City on the tour roster. So, naturally, Cassandra buys a ticket and waits backstage to get something signed - even though she feels ridiculous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Satine86](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satine86/gifts).



She could kick herself, honestly. It was childish. A _ridiculous_ idea. 

It had been a fantastic gig, she had to admit. The roar of the announcement had set her nerves alight.

_Ladies and gentlemen of Nevarra City… this… is… Hawke!  
_

Around her, the crowd of women wait impatiently by the fire exits for the band to appear – or rather, for the men of the band to appear. It was almost laughable to think she was one of them, but… here she was. Waiting for a signature and a story to tell her friends.

_Admiral Bela, captain of the high Cs! Merrill the little drummer girl! Our resident pussy magnet, Anders on the electric ivories! The lyrium knightmare, Fenris on bass! And serenading you with the sweet sound of my sultry voice -  
_

She smiles slightly as her thumb swipes over her nose, mimicking the action that gave the band their flash of red paint.

_\- Varric Tethras, at your service!  
_

As if on cue, the doors open. The man himself emerges from the rear fire exit, and around her the crowd swells, clamouring for a piece of the group. The girls are more than happy to take selfies with the fans, Bela particularly enthusiastic with Merrill’s fans – affectionately known as the Kittens. Anders and Fenris are less enthralled, but it is Varric who commands the bulk of fans, smiling despite the obvious exhaustion.

Behind her, someone provides a shove, and quite suddenly she finds herself in front of him. The actual, real Varric Tethras.

“Hey, thanks for coming.” He does not even look up as he takes the magazine from her, signing it with a flourish.

“Oh – thank _you_. This is your first concert in Nevarra, it… it means a lot to us,” she stammers.

He looks up, eyes widening slightly as he smiles slowly. Her heart jumps in her chest at the expression. “ _Does_ it now,” he says softly.

She nods, wrapping her arms around herself. “Well… I have been a fan since the very first album, but getting to one of your shows -”

“Wait, when you say ‘first album’, please tell me you don’t mean -”

She ducks her head slightly, chuckling. “I do. _Duster in Darktown_ is a very good debut, all things considered. Your earlier solo material really is quite good.”

He laughs outright at that, a small shake of the head as he gives her the magazine back. “It _really_ isn’t, but thanks for bullshitting.” 

Behind him the security team start to usher the band towards the bus and he hesitates before grabbing her wrist. “Hey, ah… d'you wanna come with us? To the hotel?”

Her heart hammers in her chest. “With – _with_ you? I – I, uh -”

He grins, and she cannot help the smile that mirrors his. “Come on. We can talk about my appalling first album and how I managed to salvage my career with these guys.”

“Ooh, my favourite subject!” trills Isabela, draping an arm over his shoulder as she looks Cassandra up and down. “Who’s the lamb?”

He squeezes her arm before letting go. “She’s with me.” He beckons over the security guard who lifts Cassandra over the barrier with ease. As he sets her down, she feels unsteady and suddenly quite targeted – the glares of the fans around her are palpable. 

Varric’s hand reaches out for hers, his smile broad.

“Come on.”

It was ridiculous, she thinks, head giddy and face flushed as she takes his hand – wonderfully ridiculous and stupid and _impossible_. And yet -

*

It was already late by the time they got to the hotel, and Isabela had dragged Merrill back to their room, claiming exhaustion. Everyone knew better – or at least that was what Cassandra assumed from the wry smiles.

Varric had bought drinks for the survivors before insisting on taking a bottle of whiskey back to his room. He had escorted her to the elevators, one hand light at the small of her back, and she could have sworn her heart was audibly loud.

The room is grandiose – possibly more down to the fact that Cassandra had never frequented such a nice hotel in her life – but the jacket is quickly strewn across the bed in such a lazy manner that she feels quite at home as she perches on the couch. He pours fresh drinks, settling next to her as he takes a long pull of his own.

“So.” He grins across at her. “Anything like you imagined?”

Her fingers tighten around the edge of the couch. “Yes. Sort of. Sometimes.”

He quirks an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Like I imagined it _sometimes_.”

“And the _other_ times?” She blushes as she presses a hand over her mouth, and he chuckles. “You’re adorable.”

“Please, forget I said that.”

He reaches for her free hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Now, why would I want to do that?”

Her stomach is in knots. _He picked me. Why?_ She knew his tastes – could not help but know his tastes, every photoshoot was saturated with the same sort of women. Cute, blonde, short and curvy – nothing like her.

_But he picked me._

She takes a deep breath, hands shaking as she grips the front of his shirt and presses her lips against his.

His hands wrap around her arms, pushing her back. “Hey. Hey, come on. You don’t have to -”

“Oh. Oh, I – sorry -” She covers her face with her hands, cheeks burning. “I should go. Oh, _Maker_ , I should go -”

“Hey.” He pulls her hands away, smiling at her. “I’m flattered, really, but I didn’t invite you back here for _that_ , alright, Seeker?”

She looks up at him, momentarily confused. “What did you call me?”

“Seeker. I mean, you sought me out, back there in the crowd, right?”

“I -”

“Forget it, I’m just a nickname sorta guy. Look, I appreciate your, ah… _enthusiasm_ -”

She pulls away, rubbing at her eyes. “Oh, _Maker_ , I am sorry, I – I mean I thought because you _asked_ me here, and – and I thought -” Her throat seizes up, her eyes stinging. _No, not here, not here_ -

“Hey now, come on – don’t cry, please. Come here.” He pulls her in close, leaning back against the couch as he holds her.

“I should have realised, I am not exactly -”

“If the next work out of your mouth is 'attractive’, I’m going to be _really_ pissed off.” He presses a light kiss to her forehead. “You’re _gorgeous_ , alright? And if I were a less noble dwarf, I’d have bent you over the back of this couch at _least_ three times already – see?” he adds, as she giggles. “Laughing is good. Much better than crying.”

She pulls away, wiping at her face. “Then why -”

“Look, I don’t fuck groupies. That’s not me.”

She shoots him a look. “I meant why did you invite me back here?”

“Oh. Because I _like_ you.” He grins. “You’re smart, funny, you talk about my lyrics like you understand them -”

“You – you cannot _possibly_ know that.”

“But I _do_ know that, because I know _you_ ,” he admits, leaning back. “Cass5horrified, right? From the fan boards.”

She stops, stock still. “What did you say?” she whispers.

“But look, the point is -”

She scrunches her eyes closed. “Maker’s breath, I cannot _believe_ you know about the boards – that you know _me_ on there! Oh, please tell me you are joking I am _so embarrassed_ -”

“Hey,” he laughs, reaching to squeeze her hand. “Look. You _get_ it, Seeker. Your little explanations about the song’s meanings? You’re always right. You… get me. And I don’t get to meet that many people who really _get_ me.”

She looks at their joined hands for a long moment. “Really?”

“Yeah. It’s… different. So I wanted to start by telling you, personally… you’re alright.”

“Oh.” She squeezes his hand, smile small. “Thank you.”

*

They talk about everything – the music, the tour, the feel of the guitar strings through the solo of _Arishok_. Somewhere along the way, his hand finds hers, fingers interlacing. She can feel callouses, warm and solid. His voice is husky, a wonderful tone that sends a thrill down her spine. It is a good night - one she would never forget, she knows that deep in her soul.

“Damn, Seeker, it’s late, even for me.” He hauls himself up, raking a hand through his hair. “Where are you staying?”

She stifles a yawn, pulling out her phone. “I can call a cab -”

“You know what? Never mind, you’re staying here. It’s late. Let’s get you to bed.” He pulls the sheet from the bed, scooping her up and wrapping her wholly in it, despite her giggles.

_“Varric!”  
_

“Sorry, pull your arms out – there you go.” He carries her to the bed, putting her down gently before unbuttoning his shirt. 

“Oh!” She props herself up on her elbows, watching him with flushed cheeks. “You… you cannot sleep on the floor, you – you are Varric Tethras, I -”

The shirt falls to the floor, exposing the famous chest, but her eyes are drawn to the smooth skin of his broad shoulders and the toned muscles of his arms. He slides onto the bed, kicking off his shoes before he rolls to face her. “See? I can be a gentleman.”

She chuckles, leaning on her arm as she regards him. “Lucky for you that you are not attracted to me, or this might be very awkward.”

He strokes her hair lightly, smile warm. “I never said I _wasn’t_ attracted to you, Seeker,” he points out.

She ducks her eyes. “You did not have to.”

He cups her cheek, lifting her face to meet her eyes. “Hey. Come on. If I kissed you before, I would have just been some asshole looking for a quick lay.”

“And now?”

“Now, I’m a guy who’s dangerously close to a… very attractive woman, trying to be a gentleman about it.”

She smiles. “Maybe I do not want a gentleman,” she murmurs. “Maybe I want to see the Varric Tethras from the stage, the loud brash showstopper. Maybe I want the Varric Tethras behind the words, the sensual wordsmith who could melt hearts with a wink.” She chuckles. “You have been many things in the press, but _rarely_ a gentleman.”

He grins. “Oh, Seeker… you’re going to be trouble.” And without hesitation he leans in and kisses her - a soft, sweet press of lips that does not linger too long. “We’re doing that again tomorrow,” he whispers against her mouth, pulling back to kiss her forehead as he wraps an arm around her waist and she snuggles into the crook of his body.

*

She wakes early, far too warm in her cocoon of sheets and still fully clothed beneath, but her hand is splayed across Varric’s chest and she smiles as she flexes her fingers.

Is it creepy to watch him sleep? Probably, she realises. But it does not stop her eyes from lingering on his lips, his hair, his eyelids… she wants to press her lips against every inch of him. Maybe a little _too_ creepy.

Carefully extracting herself from his arm, she shuffles to the edge of the bed, struggling to free herself from the tight sheet that binds her. Letting it drop the the floor, she considers her options. She does not wish to wake up, not so early, but she should leave.

With a quick glance over to him and his still-wonderfully-exposed shoulders, she rummages on the desk for a pen and paper. But what to write? _Dear Varric, last night was_ – no, no, it sounded sordid. _Varric, I wanted to thank you for_ – no, standoffish and cold. Maker, this was ridiculous.

He clears his throat, and she drops the pen with a yelp.

“Mornin’,” he murmurs, voice rough around the edges. She swallows as she turns to face him.

“Uhm. Morning.”

He slides to the end of the bed, legs hanging off as he looks up at her. “Going somewhere?” he asks with a wry smile.

“I, ah – I thought -”

“Because I’d like it if you _didn’t_ just vanish without saying goodbye.” He reaches out to grab her hand, pulling her back into his arms. She slides between his legs, smiling despite herself. “I did say last night that we were going to do this again. If you want to,” he adds.

Her fingers curl against his chest as she nods. “Yes, definitely – I mean, if _you_ want to, of course.”

He smiles, one hand at her waist. “Yeah. I _really_ want to.”

She straddles him, hands burying in his hair as his lips meet hers, hot and desperate and perfect and she has never been surer of anything in her life, but she knows as she arches against him that she needs this. She needs him, now, and she is not letting go.

He pulls back, breathless and undone and she cannot help but smile at her handiwork. It is a good look – a great look, she decides. The photoshoots had _nothing_ on the real thing.

“Seeker… stay with me.”

“What?”

“Stay with me. Come with me to Minrathous, and Antiva and the Rivain. Come with us on tour.”

Her stomach flips. Impossible, ridiculous – she must have misheard, must have. There was no way he was asking what she thought he was asking. “What?”

He reaches up to kiss her neck. “Come with me,” he whispers, “stay with me. Let’s see where this goes.”

_Oh._ And as her heart soars, her stomach drops. She pulls away, cradling his face. “Varric, I… I can’t.”

He rests his head in the crook of her neck, letting out a long sigh. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

“I want to.” Her eyes close, head bowed. “Maker knows I really… _really_ want to, but… I cannot just leave. I have an apartment and a job and -”

“It’s alright. Really. I, ah… I think I would have been more surprised if you’d said yes,” he laughs. “But I had to ask.”

It hurts. Maker, but it _hurts_. How had she gotten so wrapped up in him in one night? “I wish I was more like you,” she whispers, “but I…”

He chuckles. “You’re something else, Seeker. I had to try.”

She bites her lip, thumb gentle as it strokes the nape of his neck. “We have a little time,” she murmurs. “A little time for pretending -”

“To make like the world isn’t ending and this all could be fine until the dawn?” The song is from his solo album. “Damn, Seeker, that’s an _old_ one.” 

“I like it.” She smiles. “I told you – your earlier songs are good.”

He pulls her in close. “I could sing it to you,” he offers.

“Even after -”

“Seeker,” he murmurs, “we have a little time.” His hand trails down her spine, eliciting a soft gasp as she presses her body closer to his. “It’s not quite dawn.”


	2. Chapter 2

The tour is a resounding success, of course – he can always put on a good show. But off-stage Varric keeps himself to himself, a habit that Isabela is quickly growing tired of.

“Come on, you daft sod,” she sighs, hauling him out of his room by the elbow. “Drink with us instead of staring at your hands for a change.”

“I’m writing! You know, that thing I do that keeps us all fed and clothed?”

“We’re on tour, you ass, we’re fed and clothed by the shit we sell every night. Besides, you’ve booked a whole two months off to write the next album –“

“This isn’t for the fucking album,” he snaps, yanking his arm out of her grasp. “Andraste’s ass, Rivaini, I’m in the middle of –“

“A fucking tantrum,” she finishes sourly. “Ever since that woman in Nevarra bewitched you, you haven’t stopped sulking. Well, I’m sick of it. You’re Varric bloody Tethras, you don’t throw diva fits over women.”

“I exclusively throw diva fits over women,” he grumbles, and she shoves his shoulder.

“Davri was something else entirely – she hung you out to dry. This groupie -”

“She's not just a groupie, alright? I've spoken to her before -”

She pulls a face. “Oh, don't tell me she's the one off the boards. Varric, come on, that's borderline stalker territory.”

He rakes a hand through his hair. “I just – I just need to get this out of my system. Come Kirkwall, I’ll be right as rain again, I promise.” She glares at him, and his shoulders sag. “Rivaini, I’m sorry. I know I’m an ass, but… she was something, alright?”

At the sight of him somewhat beaten, she rolls her eyes before wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Oh, come on. Have one drink with us, just to let Kitten know you’re still alright. Then you can finish your song. But it better have a fantastic riff for me,” she adds in a warning tone.

He leans into her, glad of the touch. “When have I ever let you down?”

*

It had started as a bit of vanity, really. He wanted to know what the fans thought of his music, so he had signed up to one of the more popular message boards. Over time, it had sort of snowballed – he had ended up being quite enamoured with the group and their acceptance of him, even if none of them knew his real identity.

And besides, nobody really noticed if the more vocal suggestions from the fan boards became a reality. After all, he had only added Nevarra to the tour after a certain user had complained about her inability to get the necessary time off work to travel so far for a gig. And speaking of a certain user…

_Cass5horrified wrote: Well, the tour is wrapping up this week! I hope all you Marchers have a great time in Kirkwall – if it is anything like NC you're going to love it!_

_Hardinhertown wrote: daaaamn rite lol i cannot wait!!!!! 8D 8D 8D_

Typical Cassandra, he thinks with a soft smile. She had always been enthusiastic for tours, despite never getting to see them. He idly clicks on her profile, the old photo of her practically committed to memory by now. Except now he had memories of her smile, her lips against his, her hand in his hair, all hips and whimpers and –

He closes his eyes. One hot and heavy makeout session and he was haunted. Maker, but he was a mess. Shaking his head slightly, he clicks back to the main board.

_Cass5horrified wrote: I am going to be offline for a while. My moving date is tomorrow and I have not yet sorted out my new bills, but given the timing I probably will not miss much online._

He stares at the words, an uncomfortable sinking feeling in his chest. She was moving. Her life was moving on.

_Hardinhertown wrote: omg ur moving??? NICE! Gud luck with the move :)_

_Cass5horrified wrote: Thanks, HHT. It is a huge step, but I am very excited – it feels strange to be leaving this city behind, it has been my home since I was a child. But it is time for a change!_

_Duster941 wrote: You're moving?_

_Cass5horrified wrote: Get all your remarks out now, Duster. I will be back online before any new songs are written, I am sure you will find new reasons to goad me before then._

He hesitates, fingers hovering over the keyboard. He had cultivated quite the persona – he honestly did not know anyone who could convey sarcasm so well online – and her biting remark was fully justified. He had really enjoyed taking her down a few pegs when the online community had raised her up as a paragon of the fandom. But now that he had met her, talked with her, kissed her –

He shakes his head slightly. She was moving. He had hoped to go back, after the tour, but he could hardly ask her for directions to her new place when he had no idea where to start.

The sentiment is a little too personal, but he figures she deserves to know.

_Duster941 wrote: Honestly? Have a good life, Seeker, wherever you end up._

_Hardinhertown wrote: lol who's seeker???_

*

Kirkwall is always an amazing end to the tour, but coming home this time feels a lot more... final.

The crowd was electric, and his surprise acoustic performance of his new song, Seeker, went down a storm. He sits on the edge of the bed, the songsheet in his hands. It still needed work, of course, but if the rest of the album worked as he intended… well, it would be a nice closer.

_**Knock knock.** _

“Not here,” he calls out. The door opens anyway.

“Not even for me?”

He looks up, stunned to find Cassandra hovering in the doorway, all legs in a short leather skirt and a shy smile on her face. “Seeker,” he breathes.

“Good show tonight. Not quite as good as Nevarra City, but that new song…” Her voice trembles slightly. " _That_ was something."

“What are you doing here?”

She closes the door behind her, shrugging. “I, ah… I was sent a ticket. I assumed it was from you, actually – a housewarming present. But then again, I have no idea how you found my new address -”

He shakes his head slowly, standing up. “Not me.”

“Oh.” She looks puzzled for a moment. “Maybe I have already made a friend, then. Lowtown is a lot less depressing than it sounds, in truth –“

“You moved to Kirkwall?” He smiles. “You moved here?”

She ducks her head, smiling. “I wanted... I wanted to come with you before, but this way... this is _more_. This is worthy of your song. This is - ” She stops, blushing as she looks up at him. “Ask me again. Ask me to stay.”

He holds out his hand, and she takes it without hesitation, letting him pull her in close as his free arm comes to rest at her hips. “Dance with me, Seeker.”

Her free hand comes up to caress his neck as they sway, her smile as bright as he remembers. The nervousness of that night is nowhere to be found, and her confidence is electric. “I never took you for a dancer,” she teases.

“Ah, well. Always keep ‘em guessing, you know? I have many talents I don’t boast about.”

She raises an eyebrow at that. “Tapdance? Ballroom?”

“Too structured. I like to make shit up as I go.”

“Sounds right – oh!”

He dips her, smile widening at her sharp gasp of surprise before he presses a soft kiss to her collarbone. “Stay,” he whispers, breath rolling over her skin. “Stay with me – tonight and the day after.”

“And after that?” she asks, voice trembling as her hand finds his hair.

“And even after that, if you’re not sick of me,” he chuckles, drawing her in closer, another soft kiss to her neck, her jaw, her cheek –

_**Knock knock.** _

Inches away from her lips, he sighs. “Andraste’s ass - GO AWAY!” Cassandra winces at the volume, turning her head slightly.

Through the door comes a loud sigh. “Varric, you said you’d be fine come Kirkwall. Well, Kirkwall came and you’re still an ass!”

He holds a finger up to his lips before replying. “Rivaini, I swear on everything sacred and true, I’m fine.”

“You finished your song, it’s supposed to be a done deal. Move on. There’ll be another one.”

He runs a light thumb over Cassandra’s cheek, smile gentle. “Not like her, there won’t.” Her hand tightens in his hair for a moment.

Isabela is less convinced. “Varric…”

“Rivaini, I promise, I’m _fine_.” His hand slides up Cassandra’ leg, fingers light over soft skin. “In fact, my mood is already improving considerably…”

“ _Varric!_ ” she hisses, but he simply grins, hand moving further.

“Well, Kitten’s quite upset with you. Did you know she invited your Seeker tonight? She heard from some of the girls that she’s living in the city now, and sent her a ticket. Backstage and everything. Shame she never showed.”

They stare at each other, before Cassandra smiles. “Isabela? Could you thank Merrill for me?”

“Preferably with a kiss,” adds Varric, “a big, wet, sloppy kiss.”

Silence. Then Isabela laughs, a soft chuckle. “You could have just said,” she points out. “See you for breakfast, if you can drag yourselves out of bed…”

He waits a few moments, listening to her fading footsteps before turning back to the woman in his arms, wriggling in his grasp. He grins. “Well,” he says softly, “that answers that mystery.”

“Varric –“

“Stay with me,” he says again.

She laughs, her head dropping back for a moment before she grabs his collar and pulls him in close. “Yes, Maker, _yes_ , just _please_ –“

He cuts her off with a searing kiss, hoisting her back onto her feet. “Fan-fucking-tastic,” he growls against her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter comes in two parts as it got very unruly... so enjoy part one!


	3. Chapter 3

Somehow he manages to get her onto the bed, kneeling over her as she looks up at him through hooded eyes. She was all legs and trembling lips and desire. He swallows. _Oh, yeah._ He could work with this.

“I like the skirt,” he says, grinning as his hands slide up her thighs. “I really like it.”

“But it would look better on the floor?” she teases, and he cannot stop the laugh that escapes him.

“Well, I wasn’t going to say it…”

Her eyes do not quite meet his, the shyness of their first “Varric, I should... I mean, it has – it has been a long time since -”

“Hey,” he murmurs, smiling gently up at her as he takes her hand. “Me too.”

“Really?”

“Like I told you, I don't fuck groupies.”

“Yes, but -”

“And I don't just fall into bed with _any_ woman,” he continues, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “No matter what the tabloids say.”

“But -”

“Seeker,” he interrupts, “it's been a really _really_ long time. We're talking 'probably won't last long', here, alright? So just... stop worrying and open your damned legs.” The last remark is said with a smirk as she giggles, obeying with a tortuous slowness that has to be her way of teasing him.

“Sorry.”

“Minx.” His fingers slide against her, his eyebrows raising in surprise at the soft whimper and slick skin. “Damn, Seeker...”

Her hips rock against him, the flush of her cheeks rising. “Please -”

“You're so wet,” he whispers, teasing her entrance. “ _Fuck_ , you're so wet for me.”

“Please,” she begs in a throaty moan, “please, I need you, I – _oh_ – oh, _yes, Varric_ -”

His tongue swiftly replaces his fingers, laving her centre like a man dying of thirst. Andraste, but she was _magnificent_ , chest rising and falling with each gasped breath as her hands bury themselves in his hair. It is not long before he brings her to the edge of orgasm, his name barely audible on her lips as her legs twist and writhe around him.

“There – _ah!_ Yes yes _yes yes_ -”

She breaks on a cry, back rising up off the mattress as her legs tighten around his ears, and he is overwhelmed by her passion as he drinks her in, fingers tight on her waist as he keeps her grounded, letting her ride it out.

Eventually she tugs at his collar, pulling him up her body and kissing him hard. “For a man who has not... _been_ with someone in a really long time,” she chuckles, “you are... good.”

“ _Just_ good?” he drawls.

She responds with a shove and a laugh, rolling onto her side to face him. “You undo me,” she murmurs.

He grins. “It was my pleasure, trust me. You are... you are _divine_.”

“I missed you,” she admits softly, reaching up to cup his cheek. “I missed you the moment I left you. I knew I had to find you again.”

“I can’t believe you moved to a different country for me. That’s huge.” He smiles. “Nobody's _ever_ done anything like that for me.”

“I doubt that,” she laughs.

“I'm serious, Seeker. The last woman I was involved with promised much but left me heartbroken. Why do you think my first album was such a downer?”

She shoots him a look. “But that was years ago...”

“Yeah, well, you don't go back and stick your hand in the fire after you burn yourself, alright?”

“Varric, you have fans in every country. They have doubtless bent over backwards for you.” Her hand traces soft patterns against his chest. “They adore you.”

“But that's for them, not for me. Look, I know they _mean_ well, but it's not the same as a real connection. It's infatuation, and it's one-sided – they don't _love_ me, not the way that Rivaini and Daisy love each other.”

“Not the way you want to be loved,” she says softly, hand stilling over his heart.

He smiles tightly, a knot starting to build in his stomach. “Yeah.”

“Varric, you...” She licks her lips. “You _are_ -”

His heart leaps in his chest as he watches her hesitate. She could not mean it, surely. Nobody  _ever_ meant it, not to him.

She swallows, fingers tightening on his chest. “You  _are_ loved,” she finishes in a small voice.

For the first time in his life, he believes it.

“Cassandra...”

“I know it is – I mean, we barely know each other, and – and I know you are not the same Varric Tethras you present to the world, but... you said that I get it, in Nevarra. And if that is still true, then... I love what I understand of you, and what I have experienced in our brief time together makes me love you all the more.”

He cradles her face, forehead resting against hers. “You better not be shitting me,” he breathes. “I can't – not again -”

“I love you,” she smiles, kissing his cheek. “I moved all the way here to find you again, Varric. Of _course_ I love you.”

“Oh. _Wow_.” He takes in a shaky breath, closing his eyes. “I, ah... I don't – I don't know what to say,” he admits. “I've never -”

Her face falls slightly as she reaches up, wiping his cheek lightly. Was he crying? Maker, was he  _crying?_ “I thought you had a rule about not crying,” she murmurs.

“Shut up,” he breathes, capturing her lips in a soft kiss. “Crying is perfectly acceptable in this situation.”

“Varric -”

“You _love_ me, Seeker. Any man would be moved to tears.”

“Shut up,” she laughs.

“I'm not kidding!” he grins.

She shoves him lightly, and he pulls her back in close, kissing her once more with enthusiasm. She responds to his touch, and he presses his advantage, pulling her on top of him. She breaks away with a soft gasp as his growing need presses against her.

“Varric -!”

One hand on her ass, the other more than happy to trail down her side, he tosses her a wink. “At your service.”

She smiles coyly, wiggling against him, and a jolt of electricity rips through him with a hiss. “I can see  _that_ .”

“Seeker -”

“Condom?”

Shit. He closes his eyes. “I don't fuck groupies,” he responds through gritted teeth. “Why would I have -”

“Lucky for _you_ , I am a Pentaghast. Always prepared.” She lifts herself up, fingers digging into the crumpled pockets of the skirt to fish out the familiar foil.

“Maker's breath, I love you,” he sighs, smiling up at her. She freezes above him, foil between her teeth, and he realises why. “And I... didn't say so before now, did I?” She shakes her head slowly, and he props himself up, reaching to remove the condom from her mouth. “Cassandra, I love you.”

“You barely _know_ me,” she murmurs, “you do not have to just say it -”

“I'm not!” he laughs. “I've loved you since _before_ that night – I've been in love with you since last year, when you knocked me down a few pegs on the boards because you thought I was being mean to that little elven shit, Red or Jenny or whatever her name is -”

Her eyes widen. “You – you are _kidding_ -”

“And then when you realised it was all her, you _apologised_ , and that _never_ happens online, so I knew there and then I had to meet you, so I made some calls and Nevarra was added to the tour -”

“Varric -” She looks like she might cry, but for the smile behind a trembling hand. He pulls her arm away, craning up to kiss her softly. 

“I love you because you're gracious and protective and seriously smart and fucking _hot_ and -” He stops, shaking his head slightly. “And you _amaze_ me, and I _love_ that. I love _you_.”

Her arms wrap around his neck, pulling herself forward to kiss him again, and he moans into her mouth, hips bucking underneath her.

“So... we love each other, which is fan-fucking-tastic,” he adds, pulling away slightly, “but right now all my blood is in one particular part of me and you keep _shifting_ and -” He bites back another groan as she moves again, plucking the foil from his fingers as she tears it open with her teeth. Sliding the condom down his length, she teases him with a soft squeeze.

“Seeker -”

He is panting,  _desperate_ as she sinks down on him, slow and smooth as her head rolls back with a soft sigh. A hiss drags through his teeth as she settles flush against him.

“You – _fuck_ , you're fantastic -”

“Make love to me,” she whispers, rolling her hips. He groans, fingers digging into her hips.

“Oh, honey, you have no _idea_ what I'm gonna do to you,” he growls.

She grins, hands on his shoulders as she starts to rock against him. “Mm. Tell me.”

He laughs, a choked noise in the back of his throat. “Later. Next time. I'm not – _fuck_ , Seeker, I'm not gonna last long enough to tell you how many ways you'll be screaming my name.”

“Tease,” she laughs, though her own breathing is unsteady. He bucks underneath her, making her cry out.

“Says you.”

“Are we ever going to leave this bed?”

“Not if I can help it. _Oh –_ fuck it -”

He flips her onto her back, teeth raking down her neck as he slides back into her and starts thrusting in earnest, one hand clamped around her leg and the other cupping her breast.

" _Ah!_ "

“Yeah," he pants, "you're gonna scream for me.”

“Varric, please – _oh_ , please -” She whimpers, a wonderful keening noise as his hand moves from her breast to the sensitive nub between her legs. He is close, terrifyingly close to losing himself inside this woman, this remarkable woman who loves him -

“Come with me, Seeker,” he gasps, “come with me, _fuck_ , please -”

Her fingers tighten so hard on the sheets he swears he hears a rip, but the sound is quickly forgotten as she falls hard over the edge, crying out his name – and as she tightens around him she pulls his own release from him with a guttural sob and a last erratic buck of his hips as he thrusts deep and lets go.

Rolling off her, he takes a couple of deep breaths, closing his eyes.

“Shit. That was – that was _amazing_.”

“Mm.” She can only hum agreement, it seems, and he rolls his head to watch her bring herself back under control.

“You fucking undo me,” he adds, smiling as she laughs.

“Shut up.”

“I wanna get matching shirts, you know? Those really stupid ones that say “I'm Varric Fucking Tethras” and -”

“Maker's breath, we are _not_ getting matching shirts!” she laughs, swatting his chest.

“I wanna write you a whole album, not a concept album but a full fourteen fully-lyrical extended-version mix -”

She rolls over, leg soft against his as she drapes herself across him. “Shut up,” she repeats, smile gentle as she kisses his cheek.

He reaches to trail a light finger along the scar on her cheek. “I  _do_ , though,” he murmurs. “I want everything. I want every possible moment I can have with you. I want to make you feel the way I feel right now.”

“I was not _that_ good,” she drawls.

“No, I mean -” And here he shuffles onto his side, facing her. “I mean in my heart. I've never – not this much. I've never felt _this_ much.”

She smiles. “It is from knowing how much you are loved.”

“Yeah.” His smile is light, crooked but sure. “It's _amazing_. It's... shit, I don't know -”

“Fan-fucking-tastic?” she offers, eyebrows raising slightly in challenge.

Varric simply laughs, cradling her cheek as he pulls her closer for a lingering kiss. “Yeah. That's the one.”


End file.
